Lucky number 5.

I’m sitting here enjoying a glass of wine trying to mentally prepare myself to begin round 5 of Clomid in a few days. I find myself feeling warm and fuzzy after only 1/2 a glass, I suppose it’s been quite some time since I’ve had a drink. Such is the life of a seasoned TTCer.

Last month was a hard month. On CD 18 I began having extreme pelvic/abdominal pain and nausea. So bad in fact I considered going to the emergency room as I thought it was my appendix. But I’m used to having pain from the endometriosis so I thought I’d stick it out for a while. Although this wasn’t a cramping type of pain, it was a bloated, extreme pressure kind of pain focused mainly on the right side.

I went to bed that night still in a lot of pain, but woke up the next morning in a little less pain, but still in pain none the less. Since it was less I figured it wasn’t my appendix and was most likely my ovaries. Later that evening the pain became a dull ache but almost gone. I woke up the next morning (CD 20) feeling 100x better.

Looking back I should have probably called my doctor and had an ultrasound to see what was going on. I know that I have a risk of developing Ovarian Hyperstimulation and it could have been that I was beginning to show some signs of this. So I’m some what hesitant to do another round of Clomid. I also worry about what next month could bring. But worry doesn’t trump wanting so I push forward.

So in a few days I will transform into a crying..sappy..crazy..neurotic..hateful person. My husband is scared thrilled...I hope he survives another month.

The wait continues.....

Yesterday I had another Dr's appointment. It didn't go as well as I had planned, and I'm still stuck in the waiting game. But I'm hopeful things will get better from here.

But I have another condition to add to my list: Adenomyosis. Well this is just speculation as the only way to 100% diagnose it is with a hysterectomy. But I have all the symptoms of it, which are also pretty much the same as Endometriosis. And the two usually go hand in hand. Also the only way to cure this is by hysterectomy. So I guess it doesn't matter if I have it since I just have to deal with it anyways. Such joy

The joys of being a woman.

I also will not be starting Clomid this cycle. Based on my temp chart he believes I ovulated. But is somewhat concerned with a temp dip I had after ovulation, since your temps should stay up and not go up and down as mine did. So I'm doing another month of temping, and having my Progesterone level checked on Day 21. Based on what that shows he will decide if I will be starting clomid. Since if I am in fact ovulating he doesn't see a real need in the clomid and we will have to pursue other options.

Looks like another waiting game.....

I'm not a drug seeker.

Yesterday was a baaaad day, I was in so much pain. The curled up in a ball on the floor kind of pain. I was taking the new med my Dr prescribed - Ponstel. It worked really good on Wed & Thur. But no such luck for Friday. So I called the Dr's office and asked if I could also take my 800mg Ibuprofen with it. The nurse told me that they are both NSAIDS so I really shouldn't, but if I'm in that much pain to go ahead.

She then said "the ponstel works best if you start taking them before your period starts and use them for a few days, I thought I told you that when you were here".

Umm, no shit. "You did, and I told you I started on Tuesday and you're giving them to me on Wednesday". I then asked her about maybe getting a muscle relaxer, as I've had those in the past and it helped much better than the Ibuprofen does. But she told me that the Dr doesn't like to use those type of meds. I wanted to say "well let me kick him in the privates a few times and then tell him all he can take is Ponstel". But I refrained, as I knew it wouldn't help.

I just don't get it. I mean it's not like I was asking for a narcotic like Vicoden or Percocet, although yesterday I would have taken anything. I'm not a drug seeker going from place to place to get drugs. I know those people, they come into my urgent care clinic all the time. I'd even say I hate those people. In fact, I even told him at my appt I would rather not have narcotics as I want something I can take at work if need be. I wanted to find something that would work I could take at anytime. And I'm sorry but a small dose muscle relaxer isn't a heavy duty med. And I will be talking to him about his med choices at my next appt, cause I shouldn't have to be in this much pain when something can be done about it.

But I continued the Ponstel, with an ibuprofen chaser. Although I went to bed still in a lot of pain, and woke up with back pain, I do feel much better now. So far today has been a good day, hopefully it's smooth sailing from here on out. If not I may be IN the dr's office having a little chat with them.

Lose - Lose

Today was the long awaited Dr's appt. Unfortunately I still have very few answers, but do feel closer to a resolution. It seems that all of my blood work was in the "normal" range and my ultrasound was seemingly normal as well. It did show some slight endometrial thickening but was within the normal range for where I was in my cycle.

So he really didn't have an answer as to why I have so much pain, such long cycles, and we're not pregnant. Other than he's almost positive I have Endometriosis, despite the previous doctor stating I didn't have it. When I brought this up he said "you had your last laproscopy in 2004, your symptoms have gotten worse and you have developed new ones. It is possible that you now have it"

So where do we go from here? Well 1st I needed to decide which route I wanted to try and fix first: getting pregnant or stopping my painful/long cycles. With the decision I was given 2 options: One option is to start keeping track of my Basal Body Temp for a month to see if I am ovulating. If it shows I'm not then I would start on Clomid to induce ovulation. If it shows that I am then that would mean that there may be another issue and option 2 would need to be done anyways. Which is to have another laproscopy and D&C. During this he would also do a hysterosalpingogram, which is where they put the dye through your fallopian tubes to make sure there isn't any blockages. Usually this is done at the radiologist dept. while you are awake. But since he would already be in that area he could do it all at once. Much nicer for me.

I went with option 1, the much less invasive route. I decided that even if we did the laproscopy we wouldn't know if I was for sure ovulating. And although that probably wouldn't matter if we were to find something else during the procedure, it still would be nice to know before hand. So naturally why not start there, and if I am then we will proceed with the lap. Also I've had this done twice and even though it's only a week recovery it's not the most pleasant week - just ask my husband.

So I start taking my temp in the morning, and have a follow up appt. on July 15th. I will find out then if I am ovulating and will either schedule surgery or start clomid. I'm not sure which way to hope for. If I hope I am ovulating then I have to have surgery, if I hope I'm not so I can take clomid then I'm hoping my body isn't working right.

Seems like a lose-lose situation to me.

my head is spinning

Warning: This post is about me, the Mrs. and the womanly type of problems I've been having. It may also be very hard to follow since my head really is spinning. So I'm sorry if there is any confusion.

Recently I've been having some "woman" problems. Without going into way to much information you probably don't care about, I'll just say that it involved irregular menses and extreme pain during them. So I made a Dr's appt and that was today. I was no way ready for the information I was going to hear.

Let me take you back a few years, give you a glimpse into my history. In 2000 and 2001 I had a miscarriage. In 2003 I under went a Laproscopy for ovarian cysts and pelvic pain. In 2004 I underwent another Laproscopy for a cyst in my tubes, and had a D&C. Samples were also taken from my cervix and ovaries. It was shown that I had some type of tumor in my ovary. But that it was nothing to be worried about. The Dr also stated he did not believe I had endometriosis or Poly cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). Over the next few years I had several ultrasounds to check on the tumor and the reoccurring cysts I had. In 2007 I began having heart palpitations and my blood pressure sky rocketed. My family physician ordered tons of lab work and an echo cardiogram and sent me to a new GYN for a work up because of the tumor to see if that could be the cause.

My echo showed I had Mitral Valve Prolapse or MVP which was most likely the cause of my heart palpitations. The GYN sent my previous slides to the University of Michigan to be retested since she didn't know for sure what it said, and ordered a few more lab tests. The only report I got from that was "the pathologist agrees with the previous report". So we assumed it was just the MVP and I was started on some meds.

Now present day: For the last few months I've been having some problems. So I make an appt with the previous GYN office I went to in 2007. But I seen a new doctor since the other had moved out of state. We begin talking about what's been going on, the symptoms I've had, and what the old tests showed. I'm then told that the report from the U of M said that I had polyps and hyperplasia of the endometrium. My LH was 3x as high as my FSH and they should be pretty close to the same. And since I've been having irregular bleeding (pretty much for 3 months straight now), and that we haven't gotten pregnant when we haven't used protection in years it probably means that there is something wrong. So I was told it is most likely 1 of 3 things: Endometriosis, PCOS, or Endometrial Cancer.

So we did a pelvic exam, I went and had blood drawn, and I have an ultrasound scheduled. The plan is to also have another D&C done in the next few weeks to see if I still have an overgrowth of cells and polyps. Unless my lab work and/or ultrasound show something different.

So now it's a waiting game, and I'm trying hard not to think about it to much. But I'm scared out of my mind with the thought of having cancer. With the thought of never being able to have children, never being able to make my husband a father.

I'm also really pissed at the fact that the results from the U of M came back in 2007 and that no one felt the need to tell me the results. That because the Dr I was seeing moved out of that office I was just forgotten about. And when I called for my results they just said "they agree" ok, well what did they agree to? Why when I called wasn't I told my lab work was abnormal? That the reason my symptoms could be getting worse is because I could have cancer that could have been found 2 years ago!

I really think the next 3 weeks is going to be the longest 3 weeks of my life. My follow up appt can't come fast enough.